YOUR DREAM ROOMMATE

1 room in beautiful 2 br apartment for rent starting ASAP. My last roommate moved out very suddenly, but at least she wished me good luck with finding somebody else. So here goes. I only need 2 hours of sleep. I spend the rest of the night with the traditional vocalization practices of my people. Usually I can't even hear the noise from the discothèque on the 1st floor though. I have one rooster (very friendly) and two vibrators which I keep on a shelf in the kitchen. On weekends, I just like to kick back, snort curry powder, pop my zits, and watch the Home Shopping Network at high volume. Professionally I am a chainsaw sculptor but I do that in the kitchen not in your bedroom unless I am off my meds. Your room is pretty good-sized but I do have to keep the bees in there so that's why the rent is a little cheaper. I'm looking for somebody friendly, mature, responsible, laid-back, drama-free, and neat. Write back if this sounds interesting!

- posted by me on craigslist in utter frustration. What are other attributes of the roommate from hell? Discuss.