WNYC's online streams are supported by the New York Botanical Garden, now presenting its annual Holiday Train Show, in which model trains move through scaled replicas of New York landmarks made entirely from plant parts.
--Satin-voiced announcer
advice from a friend:
"And them pillows? They suck. Lie down on them, they hit you back. Pow." -- one of my students
A haiku my gay friend wrote for my lesbian friend:
Your arms are hairy.
You look like a lumberjack.
You're a lesbian.
ABOUT THE PLACE
Cozy: Cramped
Spacious: Cramped
Furnished: Last guy left all his shit here
Unfurnished: I hope you have measuring spoons and a toilet brush, because I don't
Must be ok with pets: The place smells like pee
Sunny: Has window
Historic / charming / a great value: The ceiling leaks and we have mice
Convenient to Harvard Square: In Allston
Convenient to Davis Square: In Winter Hill
Convenient to public transport: There is one bus line several blocks away, but it doesn't run on weekends
On the Red Line: Definitely not in Cambridge or Somerville, or you'd say that instead
Quiet neighborhood: If you talk on the porch, the yuppies will glare at you disapprovingly
Vibrant neighborhood: Neighbor stubbornly blasts tinny music from his home country at 3am
Street parking available with Cambridge sticker: Good luck with that
Laundry in apartment: Washing machine is in the kitchen propped up on cinderblocks
Porch great for barbequing: Please barbeque for us
ABOUT US
I am open-minded: I have to try REALLY hard to be open-minded
420 friendly: We are so baked while we are writing this
We like movies: We are lazy
We like wine: We are not from around here
We like the Sox: We are definitely not from around here, or we wouldn't feel the need to mention this
Athletic: We get up early and are always in the shower
Laid-back: We probably won't speak to you
ABOUT YOU
Environmentally-minded: We always forget which day is recycling day, so we hope you remember
Drama-free: We don't care how your day was
Interesting: We're bored
Has an active social life: Can you hook us up with some hot girls?
(insert lengthy description here): You are moving into OUR apartment and don't you forget it
On Primal Scream:
me: some guys ran primal last night with their junk in boxes
Marion: oh lord
me: i had a convo w/bartch about how much that would hurt, and he was like, "i'm sure there's a way around that. just wear a jockstrap."
