interesting band names

this came up during the car ride home after Bible study...we were discussing "The Hives."

"The Itches"
"The Syphyllises"
"The Bubonic Plagues"
"The Scabies"
"The Crabs"
"The Hepatitises"
"The Rashes"

my personal all-time favorite: "The Burning Sensations"

an addendum: i mentioned this list to my dad, and he told me there is a particularly severe species of scabies that causes the skin to turn white. he thinks that "The Norwegian Scabies" sounds more indie than just "The Scabies."

That WOULD be a problem

"... and when she shits, it all comes out the front."
-- overheard at Bartley's

I think this is how Lindsay Lohan got her start

Clearly my mom has been hanging around too long with the likes of me, which has raised her to new heights of inappropriateness.

 

Scenes from the Vacation of Kate and Momma

 

Saturday night, 7 pm: "Let's just have a glass of wine at the hotel and then we'll go get food."

 

9:30: Leave to get food. Discussion of which celebrities we would sleep with. Both can agree on Bill Clinton. My choice of Bob Dylan is hooted down.

 

10:30: "Mom, I don't think you're supposed to eat the banana leaves the fish is wrapped in." 

"But they taste like pot!" 

 

Sunday evening: See Avenue Q.

 

Monday morning: Exiting a candy store on the Lower East Side.

K: Oh look! Babeland. Speaking of tourist destinations.

M: Let's go there! Oh darn. It's closed.

 

 

Read this out loud and you'll see why it makes me laugh

"Streaming on WBUR is supported by the International Fund for Animal Welfare. Learn how you can help at stop whaling dot org."

I hate nor'easters

This is probably in really bad taste for Holy Week

... but it's funny:
Q. What does the H in "Jesus H. Christ" stand for?
A. "Haploid."

bush countdown bumper stickers

Dub'ya, Your Dad Should'a Pulled Out, too!

At Least Nixon Resigned

The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11^th Century

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President


Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant!

-- excerpts from an email sent to me by the Catholic students' chaplain at UCLA...she's awesome

Horrible

HotCaptcha.com tries to use HotorNot pictures to make sure you are a human and not a bot. Apparently this is just the latest evidence that I'm not human. (or as I prefer to think of it, that beauty comes in many forms)

Angela: there's also the asgard, up by mit
Angela: lol
Angela: ass guard

hm. that was awkward.

[me]: "Is the Foley giving you problems?"

[male patient in thick southie accent, mid 60's] : "Err. hm. yeah, I guess so. makes it hard to [mumble...mumble...trailing off]"

[me]: "I'm sorry? I didn't catch that. It makes it hard to..."

[male patient]: " To piss. To piss."

[me]: "I see. Is it all right if I take a look?"

[patient]: "Yeah sure. Ain't got nothin' left to lose."
[abruptly lifts up robe]

[Nurse comes in]: "Oh, god, I'm sorry! pardon me."

[patient, whispering to me after the nurse left]: "She liked it."

what a bargain

I bought a karaoke machine from an alcoholic in Palatine, and that is
the extent of my activity.

--Kate

Concealing Her Brilliance

Today also I wear a hat and Groucho glasses to disguise myself from my students. --T

Fun with Renal Pathophysiology....

-*awesomely* cute professor: "Ok, so let's say that there was a sale on bananas at Whole Foods, and you...had a banana overload..."

-3 gay med students sitting in the front, concurring: "Bananas--right" [giggle, blushing, girls in class scandalized]

Robin: Well, it's no wonder. I mean, she used to shoot at her first husband.

(pause)

Christie's momma: Only his feet, though.

I love analogies

T-bell is just like Vegas.

Sometimes you go there and love it...
but often you regret going or are disappointed and bored after a few times....
But either way you always come back for more.
-Pure Poetry from one of my analysts

Remember that postcard on my parents' fridge?

Dad: I've been meaning to tell your mother she should start her own
blog so we can nag her about it.
Kate: F-ing A! Thank you!
Dad: Ach! Such language! (etc)
Kate: Oh yeah? How was your burlesque show?
Dad: Oh yeah, she should start one of those, too!

And look! Look! ARTIFICIAL WOOD.
--Andrew

Even with Molly in Norway, there are good reasons to go to Minnesota

Like my new goal in life, deep fried cheese curds. (http://www.slate.com/id/2148618/?nav=tap3)

mixed fairytales

AK: Isn't Sneezy a Dwarf?
KW: Yes, it's Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc...I wanted to say Cupid, but
that's a reindeer....

I live in my own world. They know me here

We were thinking about you a lot this week, because . . . the subject of fried Twinkies kept coming up--my boss