"I'm third in line, so I'm like the Nancy Pelosi of Fusion."
"Well, I talk to other groups, so I'm like Condoleezza Rice."
"So you mean you're a gap-toothed traitor to your race?"

hollywood on a tuesday night

me: Yeah, the guys were all wearing fedoras, graphic tees, and skinny jeans. It was so hipster, it was disgusting.

feilin: but i've never seen brandon wear a fedora.

me: yeah, but he wears graphic tees and fitted jeans. it counts. ugh.

Learning from Paris...

"When you are promenading about downtown, always be carrying a designer handbag or clutch, a Starbucks drink (but never in the venti size – you don’t want to look as if you’re going to blubber about some recent tragedy over a thousand calories - and never in the tall size because you don't want to look cheap)..."

- excerpt from my friend's guide, How to be a Socialite

eats shoots and leaves

First of all, 'asshole' is not hyphenated.

--guy, looking over girl's shoulder, snarking at an email

So much rejection... so little time

Me: "So, wanna go out sometime?"
Hot guy I was chatting with who I thought was interested: "Well, miracles don't happen every day."

It’s Poland and the rich Jews again.

-- rejection from Knopf to Isaac Bashevis Singer

Baby Ultimatum

Do you hate screaming and crying babies in theaters as much as I do?

Gay times...

A haiku my gay friend wrote for my lesbian friend:

Your arms are hairy.
You look like a lumberjack.
You're a lesbian.

Lewinsky '08?

“Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky will toss her hat into the ring for the Democratic nomination for president. Ms. Lewinsky will offer herself as an alternative to Hillary, saying, ‘It worked before.’ ” *

*Note: Please read this article before you believe everything you read

It's just like Go Fug Yourself in the newsroom!

"Is Lynne Cheney wearing a garbage bag?"

"Oh my god, Mary Cheney looks like she's wearing a tacky prom dress."

- various editors huddled around a computer screen looking at Associated Press photos of the White House dinner in honor of the Queen's visit.

God, I'm loving "Notes on a Scandal"

"After lunch, a rather mortifying family tradition: they do things differently in bourgeois bohemia..."

This film is billed as a drama, but I can't stop laughing through it...