Me: "Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if you could move your car forward about 2-3 inches. The tail of my car is sticking out just a little over the driveway."
Man: "There's a bigger car coming."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Man: "How much?"
Me: "Just two or three inches forward."
Man: "No, how much you pay me to move my car?"
Me: "What?! I'm not paying you to move!!!"
Dude then looks at me and closes his car door. LA parking sucks ass.
First of all, 'asshole' is not hyphenated.
--guy, looking over girl's shoulder, snarking at an email
"I love it when a guy has a triangular patch of hair right above the ass. That really turns me on."
- guy at bar.
Dr. M : "In the past there was this Gastroenterologist who made all the med students practice anal exams on each other while he watched....We had to explain to him why that's just not okay anymore...1950's: ok. Today: not okay."
[not me!] Medstudent: "Um...question. Which part? the watching or the doing?"
-at lunch, with the Chief of Internal Medicine at X hospital.
Doctor: "Mr. M, these two medical students here will assist me with your physical exam..."
Mr. M: "Ok, sure, but there's no way all three of you are going to stick your fingers up my bum. Not today. I've already had that done...."
"there's roughly about as many bacteria in your colon as there are neurons in your brain. but there's no real relationship there."
- my lovely physiology prof, during a lecture on the colon and flatulence
i'm tempted to say 'i shit you not'.
if this post appears twice - sorry. i tried to post this last night and it didn't go through on my internet at least.
if you are going to be in boston for harvard yale this saturday night, come out to phoenix landing with me for some nonstop booty rock
"sure, for girls, it's easy. when you do a body roll, the only thing that people focus on will be near or around your ass. but when you tell a guy to shake his ass, the pelvis, the thighs, and probably the abs are going to move as well, if only because we need to compensate for what we don't have."
- my friend who is in my dance troupe, explaining to me why, when i ask him to do a body roll, it looks like a pelvic thrust
