I can already picture God sitting in his office dreaming up his plan: "I'll make him a famous musician. Then I'll give him millions of dollars. Then I'll give him Petra Nemcova. And then *cracking up* and then I'll put him together with Paris Hilton *laughing hysterically* and when his penis falls off I'll jump out from behind the clouds and scream 'Punk'd!'"

--The Superficial on James Blunt

Lindsay: Their house burned down and they lost all their Winston Churchill memorabilia.
Kate: . . .
Lindsay: And he lost his crux.
Kate: Crux?
Lindsay: It's a cross between a car and a truck.
Kate: . . .
Kate: Shouldn't that be a cruck?
Lindsay; Well, he had more than one.

all in a spoken word workshop

"Get off your computer! Seriously, you just went from 'Host' to 'Ho.'"
- B.C. scolding someone on his comp during workshop

"It's not ok to laugh at people!!! Unless they're idiots..."
- T.C.

Oh, honey!

I'm pouring one out for the girl who discovered that posing nude for BU's H-bomb is not the least empowering decision she's made lately:

“It was a weird situation,” he said. “She’s a porn girl, so ... I dunno. I assumed she wasn’t really looking for much from me. I’m a guy. There’s a lot less stigma attached to it."
“That’s not why he told me he broke up with me,” she said. “The reason we split up is because Aaron was in a time in his life when he didn’t want to have a relationship."

Thanks, mom

"Marriage is like handcuffs."

- My mother's oh-so romantic description of matrimony.

Another day, another toothsome piece of Ivy schaedenfreude

http://www.ivygateblog.com/blog/tags/aleksey_vayner/

 

I was going to say "There but for the grace of God," but then I thought, no, we may be prestigiously educated (although few of us, like this weirdo, can claim a Yale affiliation) but we're not as yet effin' CRAZY. Beware, though: if you inadvertently destroy your life, there's a hungry blogosphere waiting to mock you and your pretty red diploma!

In case this hasn't left the finance world yet, here's a bit of ridiculousness for you today:

*Disclaimer* This is from an intern at Citigroup in London. I'm sorry to say I was not present at her party. She's from Oxford.


-----Original Message-----
From: Gao, Lucy [CIR]
Sent: 16 August 2006 12:53
To: Curwen, Phoebe Sarah [CIB-GTS]; Olea, Ovidiu [CIB-GTS]; Brennan,
Paul1 [CIB-GTS]; Cartwright, Nick James Peter [CIB-GTS]; Casey, Krystal
[CIB-CRRM]; Croatto, Marco [CIB-GTS]; Gayeva, Ulyana [CIB-GTS]; Jensen,
Kim [CIB-GTS]; Lvov, Nikolay [CIB-GBKG]; Seugnet, Sophie [CIB-GTS];
Spencer, Harry Belford [CIB-GTS]; Andrews, Edward John [CIB-GBKG];
Schwarz, Daniel Christopher [CIB-FI]; Seugnet, Sophie [CIB-GTS]; Zhuk,
Dmitry [CIR]; Chinelato, Marcelo [CIB-GBKG]; Moratti, Andrea [CIB-FI];
Butler, Rachel Louise [CIB-FI]; Lin, Jingjing [CIR]
Cc: 'Theodore Kyriacou'; Choi, Alan [CIB-GBKG];
'sophie.sandner@luxurypublishing.com'; 'olga.x.bogdanova@hsbcib.com';
'jessica.boen@allianzglobalrisks.co.uk'; 'colin.kelly@hsbcib.com';
'Gill, Sanampreet'; 'Entwisle, Sunita (IBK EMEA)';
'mandeep.samra@balliol.ox.ac.uk'; 'kate.tolley@balliol.ox.ac.uk';
'lisema777@yahoo.co.uk'; 'pegger_007@hotmail.com';
'psatiarthi@googlemail.com'; 'destinysy2k1@hotmail.com'
Subject: Details and instructions for Lucy's Ritz Party


Dear Friends,

Thank you for all your replies and I am glad all of you can come this
Friday to celebrate my 21st with me. Please read ALL the following to
ensure your entry into the Ritz.

Lucy's 21st Birthday Party
at The Ritz Hotel London

Friday, 18th of August
9pm Champagne Reception
10pm Photo Shoots
10:30pm Blowing Candles

Mid-night Pangaea, Mayfair


I have arranged the Ritz to host a Champagne Reception with a selection
of Ritz Champagne for all my guests, this will be on me so please come
and indulge.

A specially made birthday cake has also been ordered and the Ritz
waiters will kindly serve you each a generous slice with Ritz cutleries,
etc...also on me.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR ENTRY:
* When you arrive, take the Hotel entry on the opposite side of
the Green Park tube station [Please refer to your arrival time at the
end of this email]
* When asked "how can I help you Sir/Madame?", you reply "I am
here for Lucy's Birthday Party at the Rivoli Bar"
* You will be escorted to the lounge area next to the Rivoli bar,
where you will hopefully see a gorgeous group of ladies.

If you experience any issues getting in or getting to the Ritz, please
call my mobile on 07782 205 450 and my PA Ms Gill will kindly deal with
your queries between 8:30pm to 10pm.

STRICT DRESS CODE:
Gentlemen: Jacket, shirt, and please also bring a tie (no jeans,
trainers, flip-flops, polo-shirts)
Ladies: skirt/top, cocktail dress (no denim, min-skirts, flip-flips, bad
tastes)
Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress,
the less likely you shall be denied entry. Advice 2: Photos will be
taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will be distributed once
processed, therefore you may want to be well-groomed! ;)

Finally...
I will be accepting cards and small gifts between 9pm to 11pm...wink> hehehe

I very much look forward to seeing you all at the Ritz this Friday.

Lucy

ARRIVAL TIMES: [Please stick to these as best as you can, thank you]
9:00pm: Lucy, Sophie Sandner, Kajai, Mandeep, Preet, Sanami, Su, Lisa,
Kate.
9:15pm: Phoebe, Sophie Seugnet, Theo, Dmitry, Ed, Nikolay, Paul, Nick,
Harry.
9:30pm: Marco, Andrea, Jess, Ovi, Yuki, Olga, Kim, Marcelo, Ulyana,
Krystal, Dan.
9:45pm: Sunita, Alan, JingJing, Emma.
10:00pm: Anthony, Rachel, Roger, Uli, Yogi, Gharzi


Lucy Gao
Citigroup | Real Estate Equity Research
4th Floor, Citigroup Centre (CGC1)
25 Canada Square, London E14 5LB
Direct Line: +44 207 986 4116
Fax: +44 207 986 4341
Mobile: +44 778 220 5450
Email: lucy.gao@citigroup.com

Too good to be true

I remember seeing the book at the Harvard Coop (after spring break to replace my lost copy of Moore's) and thinking "Oh God, what could she have to say at her age that warrants publication?"

-from a friend, regarding the book by that infamous sophomore[ic] author who plagarized.

Literary (?) ambulance chasing

me: and you've got to think, geez, it shouldn't be so hard to write chick lit anyway
it's not like she plagiarized j.m. coetzee

Andrew: "and, after shopping all day, she stared at the shantytowns and wondered how it had come to this, how history and language bore down on her like the heavy perfumes at a specialty boutique"
(that's jm coetzee does chick lit)

gained in translation

In a slightly different translation, babelfish also renders "hahaha
aren't you filled with regret now missy." -Kate