shady dude: hey ladies, can we buy you a drink?
[we ignore.]
shady dude's sidekick: yeah. come inside.
[we ignore.]
shady dude: ladies, we want to invite you to a tortilla fest.
my friend and i (as we walk away more quickly): uh, ewwww!
- Walking on the streets of New York's Chinatown at 12am
Note: I'm thinking he maybe meant taquitos or something rolled since tortillas are not so much phallic as they are round and flat.
"Some perv, apparently, was hiding in a bathroom stall in the Caldwell Fieldhouse, taking secret photos of naked dudes showering after track and lacrosse practice; the athletes gave low-speed chase (presumably in shower sandals, wielding back-scratchers)" . . .
--IvyGate
I hesitated at first about posting the following because it might be in poor taste. Then I thought about what I've said and written in the past and realized it's really not that bad.
"I'll give you a thousand dollars if you sit on my face. It's my favorite position."
- Disgusting much-older man hitting on me at the bar last night.
"AHHHHH!!! SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!"
- Me, running away screaming.
"i'm not entirely sure why i wrote 'keep it moist' on my notes, but i'm sure that it follows the context of what the professor was saying"
- anon., in reviewing for the final
"I might be getting brave enough to start using colons!"
- our new obituaries writer who is not a journalist and is learning punctuation (seemingly for the first time)
Christians want gays out, but gays have A LOT of discretionary income and love pancakes.
--comment thread for an internet news story about a lesbian couple being thrown out of a Missouri IHOP for sharing a peck on the cheek
"Chief! I have some dignity." -- me
"You are in the wrong house for dignity." -- Chief
"You can find lots of people... and body parts... on there."
-Tutor N about Craigslist.
and...
"I'd rather be lonely and keep my dignity..."
-Tutor N on why he'll never post on Craigslist
