"Yeah, that's right, he lives in a trailer and he has a cleaning lady! ... No, it's not even a double-wide." -- man on cell phone, Copley Square

Wrongheaded direct email marketing

Dear Kate W***:

If you are in the market for a gorgeous lakefront or lake access
homesite on Georgia's spectacular 70,000-acre Lake Strom Thurmond,
then you will want to give us a call.

omg we just got boob jobs!!!

Room in nice apartment with 2 females newly renovated.

YOUR DREAM ROOMMATE

1 room in beautiful 2 br apartment for rent starting ASAP. My last roommate moved out very suddenly, but at least she wished me good luck with finding somebody else. So here goes. I only need 2 hours of sleep. I spend the rest of the night with the traditional vocalization practices of my people. Usually I can't even hear the noise from the discothèque on the 1st floor though. I have one rooster (very friendly) and two vibrators which I keep on a shelf in the kitchen. On weekends, I just like to kick back, snort curry powder, pop my zits, and watch the Home Shopping Network at high volume. Professionally I am a chainsaw sculptor but I do that in the kitchen not in your bedroom unless I am off my meds. Your room is pretty good-sized but I do have to keep the bees in there so that's why the rent is a little cheaper. I'm looking for somebody friendly, mature, responsible, laid-back, drama-free, and neat. Write back if this sounds interesting!

- posted by me on craigslist in utter frustration. What are other attributes of the roommate from hell? Discuss.

Bat cave v1.5

$600 near Medford line available immediately. One full bat, one half bat.

Speaking of overeducated

Roommates: They are very friendly and nice!!!! A man has a Dog but she is very nice and educated. never bother you.

Nudge nudge wink wink

Looking for a roomate, room is pictured below. Decently sized with a closet. Must be able to tolerate loud music, beirut and results.

We have WIRED internet and we rely heavily on spell-check

We have a washer and dryer, also both wireless and weird internet.

I'm not sure what to make of this

$700 Nice apartment near MIT. You would be sharing a kitchen and bathroom with 3 other Asians.

Why I have HAD IT with apartment hunting

ABOUT THE PLACE
Cozy: Cramped
Spacious: Cramped
Furnished: Last guy left all his shit here
Unfurnished: I hope you have measuring spoons and a toilet brush, because I don't
Must be ok with pets: The place smells like pee
Sunny: Has window
Historic / charming / a great value: The ceiling leaks and we have mice
Convenient to Harvard Square: In Allston
Convenient to Davis Square: In Winter Hill
Convenient to public transport: There is one bus line several blocks away, but it doesn't run on weekends
On the Red Line: Definitely not in Cambridge or Somerville, or you'd say that instead
Quiet neighborhood: If you talk on the porch, the yuppies will glare at you disapprovingly
Vibrant neighborhood: Neighbor stubbornly blasts tinny music from his home country at 3am
Street parking available with Cambridge sticker: Good luck with that
Laundry in apartment: Washing machine is in the kitchen propped up on cinderblocks
Porch great for barbequing: Please barbeque for us

ABOUT US
I am open-minded: I have to try REALLY hard to be open-minded
420 friendly: We are so baked while we are writing this
We like movies: We are lazy
We like wine: We are not from around here
We like the Sox: We are definitely not from around here, or we wouldn't feel the need to mention this
Athletic: We get up early and are always in the shower
Laid-back: We probably won't speak to you

ABOUT YOU
Environmentally-minded: We always forget which day is recycling day, so we hope you remember
Drama-free: We don't care how your day was
Interesting: We're bored
Has an active social life: Can you hook us up with some hot girls?
(insert lengthy description here): You are moving into OUR apartment and don't you forget it

we aer SO baked whilwe ar wrintng this

Aptarmant is 402 frindly.

Dock dock goose (edit: Doc doc post-doc!)

Inman Square apartment for June 1st. Roommates are 2 international post-docks.

Gee, Thanks, Laundry Matt!

Nice and Clean Room in Somerville. Laundry Matt near by. Convenience for everything.

Say what now?

You will need Frist & Last ($1350)to move in. Roommate: Female and one cat(dog).

People stay overnight to knit with you?

Davis Square apartment available June 1st. When I'm in, I tend to knit, cook, read, have sex, and play on the computer. Occasionally I have overnight guests.

Bump me off, then pay my rent.

$508 Killing deal! I'm living on may 14, I need someone who will pay half of May.

Do I get walls too? Also, where did the closet go?

One large Central SQ Room for rent "All Uitilities Included"One Large 13X13 hardwood floor with a big walking closet.