If you don't know the answer, just guess

Thymine
Cytosine
Angeline
Geraldine

-- 9th grader's attempt at naming the 4 bases of DNA on a recent biology test

friday lectures get punchy

verbatim:

professor: *waxing on about the mutation of colorblindness* and it's a totally normal effect in about 5-8% of the male population
student: *raises hand* yeah, i'm colorblind and i can't discern between the two lines
professor: ok, that's totally normal - you'll still be able to reproduce prob...prob...without any problem. that is, you'll propagate the defect on to your grandkids.
*rest of class is dying laughing*
student: i already have a daughter!
professor: i see you've already passed it on then.

behavior of the species

What is this with the inability of one bleeding heart to fall in love
with a capitalist? I mean, they all intermate, and then...

--Kate

In which Miss Wilson tries to teach evolution in the schools

During a second-grade lesson on taxonomy:

Tiffany: (sorting through her creature cards) Is King Harald a mammal or a reptile?
Me: Well, does he have hair? Did he grow inside his mum?
Ewan: Yes! He's a mammal!
Caitlin: But he used to be a monkey.
Tiffany: Like, when he was a baby?
Caitlin: I guess.
Tiffany: That's weird.

Maybe all my friends will sort of recombinate and eventually dwindle down to one who will unite all of your inimitable qualities in him/herself. I just hope to God when that happens that it's a guy.

-- Kate

i should have joined sooner

since quotes that i do not remember saying are being posted!!!

fear not, i am here to ensure quote accuracy. i am the angel of death.

i will say, for now:
"Kate [hot CSA guy last name, redacted], Your ideal job is a Rear End of Panto Cow.
Grace [oddly likeable CSA guy last name, redacted], Your ideal job is a Unemployed.
[oddly likeable CSA guy, redacted], Your ideal job is a Professional Shopper.
Laura [last name], Your ideal job is a Spinster with cats
BUT
Laura [abhorrent CSA guy last name, redacted], Your ideal job is a Superhero.
and finally, I think we've got it . . .
Laura Ward (which, actually, was almost my name) Laura Ward, Your ideal job is a Stand Up Comedian.
and not only that . . .
Kate Hallett, Your ideal job is a Between the hours of 12 and 1pm on days with a W in them."
-email from kate

i really miss when we crashed jobpredictor.com.
more to follow.