free associating

Like that guy who used to teach at the law school--what's his name? Bjork? Bork! Robert Bork.

--professor

Dept. of Leverett House Jingoism

"I just remember a vague feeling that there was something better out there." -- Lauren, on living in Winthrop House as an undergraduate

Wow, I'm learning so much about myself!

Things people told me this past Saturday at the bar:

One guy: "You have the body of a 10-year-old girl."

hottt.

A woman: "You have an amazing chin. Very theatrical. You should definitely take advantage of that; you should take it to Hollywood. You could really play a vampire."

So apparently I'm the new Bela Lugosi.

Later: "You would look hot with a pompadour."

Gay times...

A haiku my gay friend wrote for my lesbian friend:

Your arms are hairy.
You look like a lumberjack.
You're a lesbian.

would that be corn or flour?

shady dude: hey ladies, can we buy you a drink?

[we ignore.]

shady dude's sidekick: yeah. come inside.

[we ignore.]

shady dude: ladies, we want to invite you to a tortilla fest.

my friend and i (as we walk away more quickly): uh, ewwww!

- Walking on the streets of New York's Chinatown at 12am

Note: I'm thinking he maybe meant taquitos or something rolled since tortillas are not so much phallic as they are round and flat.

More tales from the bar...

Weird guy at bar: "So, since you're so short, do people automatically assume that you're a bottom?"
Me: "Ummmmmm... well, no."
Weird guy: "Well, I mean, have you ever seen a chihuahua top a doberman?"
Me: [Silence][thinking to self: Did he just call me a chihuahua?]