She lives with Big Richard and Big Bow Wow

"So, Mom, is there a Big Kim?" – young girl on #77 bus

Phil: I was just doing it out of the--what's the phrase?--"the something of my heart." Such a strange phrase, I'm not used to saying it.
Me: Goodness?
Phil: Yeah! The goodness of my heart.

unexpected sentence completions

"Oh! My sister totally has a Virgin Mary fetish!"
- my friend Liza, on seeing a homemade Lady of Guadalupe print for sale at Venice Beach

Not in my presence, but still, WTF?

Douchebag [using another medstudent as prop] : "Ok, R., lean forward. I'm gonna come in closer. No homo though, ha ha ha..."

-This kid in my class talking to an *attending physician* at a medicine meeting, with like, 7 other medstudents present.

This is where I come from, people

It's Jesus vs. Satan on Rubber Avenue

BY PAUL SINGLEY

Copyright © 2007 Republican-American

A battle between good and evil is brewing on Rubber Avenue.

Workers at two neighboring businesses in a small shopping plaza at 195 Rubber Ave. have differing opinions about whether or not people should show support for Jesus. An owner of a shop that puts photos onto DVDs placed a sign in front of a parking lot, which is used by both businesses, that says, "Easter: Beep for Christ."

A tattoo artist next door countered Friday with a sign that says, "Honk twice for..." and shows a caricature of a red devil underneath the text.

And so the battle began.

"Beep! Honk, honk!" Those were the sounds that blared all day from the cars of hundreds of commuters who traveled on Rubber Avenue, one of the busiest streets in the borough. Some beeped twice, while others gave just one toot on their car horns.

Claudette Soden, a devout Christian and owner of Photos Onto DVD, fired the first shot last week when she put up her Easter sign. Phil Young, who works at No Regrets next door to Soden's business, countered on Friday morning with his satanic sign.
Soden says Jesus is her "partner in business," and she wants everyone to know it.

"His sign is not bothering me, but I know it's bothering Jesus," she said. . "And children are going to pass by that sign and say, 'What is that? It looks like a devil.' And what are parents going to say to that?"

Young said his clients come from a range of religious backgrounds and cultures, and he doesn't want them to feel alienated from his business.

"My main point is that we share a parking lot, and what goes on in this parking lot represents not only hers, but both shops," he said. "What she does inside her business is her business. I would not tell her to get rid of the sign."

He said he is not a satanist, and respects every religion, adding that he has friends who follow several different religions.

"More people have been killed in the name of God than over anything else, and so I don't think people should fight about religion," he said. "Satan is part of the same religion as Christ, so it's a contrast, not a competing religion."

Both signmakers say they simply have a difference of opinion, and respect each other's right to freedom of speech. They just want commuters to know what they're honking for because neither wants to take down their respective sign.

Horrible

HotCaptcha.com tries to use HotorNot pictures to make sure you are a human and not a bot. Apparently this is just the latest evidence that I'm not human. (or as I prefer to think of it, that beauty comes in many forms)

In which Chief sends me home with sherry hour leftovers

"Chief! I have some dignity." -- me
"You are in the wrong house for dignity." -- Chief

Oh, honey!

I'm pouring one out for the girl who discovered that posing nude for BU's H-bomb is not the least empowering decision she's made lately:

“It was a weird situation,” he said. “She’s a porn girl, so ... I dunno. I assumed she wasn’t really looking for much from me. I’m a guy. There’s a lot less stigma attached to it."
“That’s not why he told me he broke up with me,” she said. “The reason we split up is because Aaron was in a time in his life when he didn’t want to have a relationship."

In which Molly plays at being Sam J and goes to more press conferences

"Martin Luther King, Mama Cass Elliott, and, uh, Hitler. Let's see what happens." -- Ben Stiller, asked which 3 famous people he would invite to dinner

was I being ironic?

A: "So, did you hear, Stephanie G. was, like, totally crying today when our site director sent her to see a patient individually. Little itsy bitsy tears and high pitched mumblings :'butbbbut...'"

B: "Ahhahahahah....that's pathetic! At my site we do individual H&P on the first day."

Me: "Oh please...if it were me, the only muffled crying there is to do is in a corner on the floor, in the bathroom, with no one around. And if I really wanted to let out the pain I'd cut myself just a little bit to make sure I feel alive. Pfftht. Showing weakness in public. What the hell was she thinking?"

B: "Totally."

Well, what was I supposed to do? Not lie?

--Phil

Bored at...Columbia

"Has anyone else ever seen that really old lady walking around on like 112th street with a walker that's seriously completely broken? I mean, the back two legs are missing, so she kind of just drags herself across the sidewalk with one set of parallel bars. I was going to offer to help her or buy her a new walker or something, but I figured she must be really messed up to still be putting up with that broken walker and the last thing I need right now is rabies. "

-anonymous post on Boredatbutler.com, Columbia U. There's a boredatlamont.com, but it's rather tepid.

Pardon my small faux pas

Oh dear! You are using between three and five times your share of the planet's resources.

--my personalized (and chipper) Happy Planet Index report

More Senior Bar Musings Between Persons A and B

A: "Yeah, he totally has an Asian fetish."
B: "Yellow fever!!!"
A: "Definitely."
B:"Oh, but he was into that black girl, too."
A:"Jungle fever!!!"
B:"Is that what it's called?"
A:"Yes!"
B:"OMG, THAT'S SOOOO INAPPROPRIATE!!!"
A:"Haha..."
B:"Oh, he was also into that Jewish girl, too! He has, like, all girl fever."
A: "I think that's called heterosexuality."