Good luck with that

Grandma: Katie, I think you ought to move back to Albany. Know why? Because I know lots of nice young people who stayed in Albany, and their parents bought them their own house.

me: So you're saying if I move back to Albany, Mom and Dad will buy me . . . a house?

Grandma: Good, I've convinced you! Now I just need to work on your parents.

today, i met a parking prostitute

Me: "Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if you could move your car forward about 2-3 inches. The tail of my car is sticking out just a little over the driveway."

Man: "There's a bigger car coming."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Man: "How much?"

Me: "Just two or three inches forward."

Man: "No, how much you pay me to move my car?"

Me: "What?! I'm not paying you to move!!!"

Dude then looks at me and closes his car door. LA parking sucks ass.