I love slightly sodden family dinners

Cousin: Your uncle... is... a... weenie.
Me: Hey now, he's a good guy.
Cousin: He's a good guy, but man, what a weenie.

Uncle (different one): Well, John called his father an asshole when he was giving the toast at his funeral.
Me: No -
Uncle: Yes, he did -
Me: - he called him a prick.